I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
