fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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