I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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