I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Someone came in the potted fern
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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