Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
