dude i'm inner monologue high
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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