Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
