I didn't shave. On purpose
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
