I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
