I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just high enough for therapy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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