I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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