can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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