i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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