Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Four minutes until I can fart!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
