Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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