Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Randomize