found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
