Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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