eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
