walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
