I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
