the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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