The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
