omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
well you can't waste a boner
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
