I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
