he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
