i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
