Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
