garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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