Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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