I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Nicole vs. Life
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
