I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
