I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
