lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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