Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bring me that man meat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
