He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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