So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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