So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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