She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
In America we eat man semen.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
