I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
