your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
