Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
