Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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