I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Are we still banned from the library?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
