I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize