I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
