Nicole vs. Life
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
