And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
