whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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