There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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