he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize