after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
