I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
