remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've blown a few things in my day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize