Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
