everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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