Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
