i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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